MenoPause - Your turn now.
Over the coming months, I'll be popping into Carol Dooley's Saturday Live show on Sunshine radio, to chat about a very powerfully transformative stage of a woman's life - Menopause.
The Sunshine 106.8 app can be downloaded to your mobile device or tablet and each of the monthly MenoPower conversations with Carol on her Saturday Live show, are available as podcasts
I'm calling these monthly chats 'The MenoPower Chronicles' because we'll be talking about how a woman can use this time to break free of anything that no longer fits. I show how this midlife phase is less a journey through uncharted territory and more a return to the wholeness with which she was born.
The Sunshine 106.8 app can be downloaded to your mobile device or tablet and each of the monthly MenoPower conversations with Carol on her Saturday Live show, are available as podcasts
I'm calling these monthly chats 'The MenoPower Chronicles' because we'll be talking about how a woman can use this time to break free of anything that no longer fits. I show how this midlife phase is less a journey through uncharted territory and more a return to the wholeness with which she was born.
THE MYSTERY
The change or menopause can be a confusing and even dreaded time in a woman's life and there can be a lot of fear around the possible changes ahead.
It wasn't so long ago that the life expectancy of women didn't extend far enough to reach menopause. When some women did live very long lives, they were the subject of suspicion. Old women such as the Pendle Witches in the 1600's. These ladies lived to be eighty at a time when others could expect to live no longer than about 42 years. It was believed they had made a pact with the devil or practiced witchcraft in order to achieve such longevity and were accused of putting spell on animals and children and causing crops to fail and rivers to flood.
BUT THE GOOD NEWS IS...
that unlike our foremothers, menopause is no longer a taboo subject.
When women's life expectancy began to increase, they also began to experience symptoms which heralded the end of their child-bearing years. They saw this a something to be feared - a decline or their healthy functions and a decaying of their vitality.
Even in the last century , puberty, sex and the bodily functions were rarely discussed and with only the briefest attention possible. I can't imagine what it was like living in victorian times wearing tight corsets and voluminous skirts when a hot flush struck!
The change or menopause can be a confusing and even dreaded time in a woman's life and there can be a lot of fear around the possible changes ahead.
It wasn't so long ago that the life expectancy of women didn't extend far enough to reach menopause. When some women did live very long lives, they were the subject of suspicion. Old women such as the Pendle Witches in the 1600's. These ladies lived to be eighty at a time when others could expect to live no longer than about 42 years. It was believed they had made a pact with the devil or practiced witchcraft in order to achieve such longevity and were accused of putting spell on animals and children and causing crops to fail and rivers to flood.
BUT THE GOOD NEWS IS...
that unlike our foremothers, menopause is no longer a taboo subject.
When women's life expectancy began to increase, they also began to experience symptoms which heralded the end of their child-bearing years. They saw this a something to be feared - a decline or their healthy functions and a decaying of their vitality.
Even in the last century , puberty, sex and the bodily functions were rarely discussed and with only the briefest attention possible. I can't imagine what it was like living in victorian times wearing tight corsets and voluminous skirts when a hot flush struck!
Today women are better educated, more sophisticated and better able to live long lives in which they flourish and thrive. Ideally we've arrived at a time where we're not afraid to ask for support and advice when we start experiencing strange things like forgetfulness, dry skin, hot sweats, cold sweats, sleeplessness, prickling scalp (is that a thing? I used to get that one regularly), weight gain yet not increasing your food intake (I swear calories stuck to my hips as I walked down the grocery isle) and of course .......the blues.
We still retain the same attitude to the menopause transition as that of a past age and we're still more likely to talk about menopause in negative terms and through gritted teeth. A thing to be endured, suffered even, while our life force and vitality drain away.
However, we have not caught up with our advancement and it's time we had a new wisdom for a new age of woman.
A New Wisdom
Menopause is defined as the 12 months following a woman's last period. Peri-menopause is the period of time leading up to this when the ovaries gradually begin to make less oestrogen. This usually begins in early 40's but can begin earlier and can can continue for up to ten years until the ovaries stop producing eggs. Post menopause is the experiencing of symptoms gradually tapering off following the menopause. Overall this whole transition period can last up to twenty years and everyone experiences menopause symptoms differently and to a greater or lesser degree.
We still retain the same attitude to the menopause transition as that of a past age and we're still more likely to talk about menopause in negative terms and through gritted teeth. A thing to be endured, suffered even, while our life force and vitality drain away.
However, we have not caught up with our advancement and it's time we had a new wisdom for a new age of woman.
A New Wisdom
Menopause is defined as the 12 months following a woman's last period. Peri-menopause is the period of time leading up to this when the ovaries gradually begin to make less oestrogen. This usually begins in early 40's but can begin earlier and can can continue for up to ten years until the ovaries stop producing eggs. Post menopause is the experiencing of symptoms gradually tapering off following the menopause. Overall this whole transition period can last up to twenty years and everyone experiences menopause symptoms differently and to a greater or lesser degree.
Here's a truth I discovered through my own menopause/midlife experience.
The more I struggled to remain as I was, the greater the resistance I
experienced in the form of emotional and physical upheaval.
The more I struggled to remain as I was, the greater the resistance I
experienced in the form of emotional and physical upheaval.
I've come to see, that the vital function of the menopause transition is to allow you to return to the wholeness, the perfection with which you entered this world. This is the time to break free of the masks we wear and the false truth we adopt so that we can 'row-in' with the world around us.
This phase is all about you. As uncomfortable or as perfectly blissful as you need and .........it's about time.
THE THREE AGES OF WOMAN
The first stage of woman is the 0 - 25 years when she is occupied with learning all she can of the world. She is a sponge filling her mind with knowledge. This is the student or MAIDEN - the mind stage.
The second stage is 25 - 50 when a woman is building a foundations and investing in her security and stability in the world. She is busy with the tasks of creating a family or developing her career or fighting a cause - often more than one of these. She is occupied with all it takes to nurture and protect this world she has built for herself. She is the homemaker or MATRON - the body stage.
The third stage is about 50 - 75 (and beyond) when a woman has handed over her duties and responsibilities of everyday nurturing to the next generation and in most cultures she moves into the Wise Woman stage. Her function is to be supporter and mentor to the family and community but she has earned the right to pursue her own interests. In our culture she is The Crone - which I have to confess I resist because of the image of a wizened witch associated with the Crone. It doesn't feel right for today's woman. So I have accepted The Wise Woman as the title for my third age. This is when a woman has achieved her status of what I like to call The Wise & Ageless Goddess - the spirit stage
This third stage brings together the unity of the whole woman - her mind, her body and her spirit. This is the stage when we become occupied with finding purpose and meaning in our lives.
The transformational stage of menopause, after years of learning, finding your place in the world, nurturing your family, career and causes, tending to your responsibilities, obligations and duties, is a time for you. It's a gift of nature, timed to perfection. As Danielle LaPorte (author of The Desire Map) says, it's a "time to remember who you were before the world told you who you should be."
The first stage of woman is the 0 - 25 years when she is occupied with learning all she can of the world. She is a sponge filling her mind with knowledge. This is the student or MAIDEN - the mind stage.
The second stage is 25 - 50 when a woman is building a foundations and investing in her security and stability in the world. She is busy with the tasks of creating a family or developing her career or fighting a cause - often more than one of these. She is occupied with all it takes to nurture and protect this world she has built for herself. She is the homemaker or MATRON - the body stage.
The third stage is about 50 - 75 (and beyond) when a woman has handed over her duties and responsibilities of everyday nurturing to the next generation and in most cultures she moves into the Wise Woman stage. Her function is to be supporter and mentor to the family and community but she has earned the right to pursue her own interests. In our culture she is The Crone - which I have to confess I resist because of the image of a wizened witch associated with the Crone. It doesn't feel right for today's woman. So I have accepted The Wise Woman as the title for my third age. This is when a woman has achieved her status of what I like to call The Wise & Ageless Goddess - the spirit stage
This third stage brings together the unity of the whole woman - her mind, her body and her spirit. This is the stage when we become occupied with finding purpose and meaning in our lives.
The transformational stage of menopause, after years of learning, finding your place in the world, nurturing your family, career and causes, tending to your responsibilities, obligations and duties, is a time for you. It's a gift of nature, timed to perfection. As Danielle LaPorte (author of The Desire Map) says, it's a "time to remember who you were before the world told you who you should be."
Personal power tasks for month one - wings
If you're experiencing symptoms of menopause whether it's emotional or physical or even if you're just curious about what to expect, go to your doctor and begin a good grown-up relationship with him or her. This is the most important thing you can do for yourself.
Ask if your clinic or practice has a nurse or doctor who is a specialist in menopause issues on their team and put them on your 'board of your good health' making sure that you maintain the position of CEO!
Ask all about treatments and alternatives and where you can do research to find out more information.
Inform yourself on the nutritional values of the food you eat. So many of the symptoms and exacerbation of symptoms is because we are not supporting our body's changing nutritional requirements. For instance, magnesium is said to aid sleep and good cognitive function. You may need to increase your intake - ideally in the food you eat but perhaps also as a supplement. Always ask your doctor or pharmacist first.
This sounds so simple but it is truly one of the most valuable things to remember at this time. Drink plenty of water! Dehydration, especially if you are experiencing hot sweats, can contribute to the brain fog so often described by women.
Catch yourself buying into the 'bits falling off' conversation around menopause and other negative attitudes to this time of powerful transformation. So much of this is inherited from a time of little understand, when the onset of menopause was the onset of decay and the erosion of a woman's value and functioning. It's outdated and irrelevant in this new age of woman.
Do something positive with other women and ideally other women of mixed ages. Community is immunity so check out walking, rowing and swimming clubs or sign up for dance classes. What better way to stay in touch with your powerfully feminine essence than to learn to belly dance or tango! These combined with opportunities to get out into nature are good days to use your body. The exercise increases your oxygen intake which in turn increases brain function in addition to the boost to your immune system.
Your mind, your body and your spirit will thank you as they celebrate their unity.
Ask if your clinic or practice has a nurse or doctor who is a specialist in menopause issues on their team and put them on your 'board of your good health' making sure that you maintain the position of CEO!
Ask all about treatments and alternatives and where you can do research to find out more information.
Inform yourself on the nutritional values of the food you eat. So many of the symptoms and exacerbation of symptoms is because we are not supporting our body's changing nutritional requirements. For instance, magnesium is said to aid sleep and good cognitive function. You may need to increase your intake - ideally in the food you eat but perhaps also as a supplement. Always ask your doctor or pharmacist first.
This sounds so simple but it is truly one of the most valuable things to remember at this time. Drink plenty of water! Dehydration, especially if you are experiencing hot sweats, can contribute to the brain fog so often described by women.
Catch yourself buying into the 'bits falling off' conversation around menopause and other negative attitudes to this time of powerful transformation. So much of this is inherited from a time of little understand, when the onset of menopause was the onset of decay and the erosion of a woman's value and functioning. It's outdated and irrelevant in this new age of woman.
Do something positive with other women and ideally other women of mixed ages. Community is immunity so check out walking, rowing and swimming clubs or sign up for dance classes. What better way to stay in touch with your powerfully feminine essence than to learn to belly dance or tango! These combined with opportunities to get out into nature are good days to use your body. The exercise increases your oxygen intake which in turn increases brain function in addition to the boost to your immune system.
Your mind, your body and your spirit will thank you as they celebrate their unity.
Listen to the first in a series of MenoPower Chronicles conversations with Carol Dooley on her Saturday Live show by clicking here
Lets look at how we take back control of our lives when everything is changing.
If we are to shed light on the whole process of menopause, we have to remember that each individual experiences it differently. And some women tolerate some of the symptoms differently. Women who wrote to me after chronicles 1 shared their fears of the unknown. One woman said that insomnia was an issue but she found that she could handle wakefulness in the night but had real trouble handling the sudden rushes of heat and sweating which for her were highly embarrassing.
What is an issue for one person may be of little consequence to another. A loss of libido for one can be disturbing while not an issue at all with another. Another lady said that she had no physical menopausal symptoms at all but was plagued by an inability to move on from emotional upset and a sense that she'd 'missed the boat' - that life had passed her by.
Arriving at midlife and menopause we are often stopped short and even, as one woman put it, 'knocked for six' in the middle of a perfectly nice life thank-you-very-much by a demand from our physical, emotional and yes, spiritual self in the form of some kind of interruption of normal service. It is said that this is the time that issues of the past will come back and insist on your attention. The comfort eating, the buying 'things', the working long hours, the people pleasing, the identity attachment - to our appearance, our children, our success at work etc. - these are the kinds of things that will begin to trip us up and cause issues that need resolving. And the thing is, the more we resist paying attention, the greater the severity of our discomfort.
If you're someone who can't say no and find yourself available to your family, friends, work colleagues and community all the time, you may find that your body aches, you get head-achy you're continuously exhausted, you sleep all night but don't feel rested in the morning. Maybe people are commenting that you seem irritable but what's happening is that your body is changing, your life circumstances are changing, and the effect of changing hormones is that other, often neglected areas of your life are coming into sharper focus. You are moving from your nurturing phase or cycle into a time of your life where you become the focus. You may very well choose to be a willing carer and nurturer as you go on, but if it's no longer a choice but a circumstance you've outgrown or simply drifted into for a quiet life, your body and spirit will rebel. And it'll find any way possible to get your attention until you notice and take action.
At midlife our hearts are asking us to wake up and live our personal truth, our soul's voice....
In Martha Beck's book 'Finding Your own North Star', she says that we are all born with an innate sense of direction. "Just like explorers depend on the North Star when there are no other landmarks in sight, we have an unaltering spot that retains the knowledge of our potential for our happiest life." she says. Throughout our childhood and the years that follow, we often abandon or lose our way because we learn that it can be safer or easier or quieter to follow the well trodden path that others have laid down before us.
The limiting beliefs that shape our lives (I'm not smart enough, rich enough, pretty enough, interesting enough, confident enough etc.) causes us to stay small and to fear change. But change has come and no matter how much we tried for it not to, our lives are changing, physically, emotionally and spiritually. And remember! The more we resist, the more symptomatic our lives become.
So how do we connect with our inner guidance system?
We know that the skies are filled with stars, yet it's impossible to see their brilliance when we are standing in the midst of the city lights at night. You need to be in darkness to see the night sky in all its glory. In the same way, you need to silence all the chatter and noise around you to hear the voice within, to access your internal wisdom. And your inner wisdom is as infallible and true for you as the North Star is in the night sky for the explorers and mariners who seek to know where they are in the world.
Sanctuary or Sacred Space
It's vital that you claim a space to call your own. You can read more about it here (taken from my 'Soulcraft of self-nurture - 30 days of tenderness' programme)
The limiting beliefs that shape our lives (I'm not smart enough, rich enough, pretty enough, interesting enough, confident enough etc.) causes us to stay small and to fear change. But change has come and no matter how much we tried for it not to, our lives are changing, physically, emotionally and spiritually. And remember! The more we resist, the more symptomatic our lives become.
So how do we connect with our inner guidance system?
We know that the skies are filled with stars, yet it's impossible to see their brilliance when we are standing in the midst of the city lights at night. You need to be in darkness to see the night sky in all its glory. In the same way, you need to silence all the chatter and noise around you to hear the voice within, to access your internal wisdom. And your inner wisdom is as infallible and true for you as the North Star is in the night sky for the explorers and mariners who seek to know where they are in the world.
Sanctuary or Sacred Space
It's vital that you claim a space to call your own. You can read more about it here (taken from my 'Soulcraft of self-nurture - 30 days of tenderness' programme)
"Your Sacred Space is where you can find yourself again and again."
- Joseph Campbell
- Joseph Campbell
Tuning inward takes regular practice so it's a good idea to set aside a regular time to still the outer noise and 'come to your senses' in your own quiet sanctuary. Begin a ritual of self-care by lighting a candle. Then take about ten to fifteen minutes journaling. Why not get yourself a beautiful notebook fit for a Wise & Ageless Goddess!
This is a good time to begin a practice of meditation which has a whole host of benefits not least that it lowers your blood pressure and reduces stress and anxiety (if these are real issues for you, talk it over with your doctor or trusted professional). Meditation is a time when you are open to receiving the answers to your questions and the wisdom of your soul. They say praying is asking for what you need and meditation is when you remain open to receiving the answers.
If you are feeling unsure of the way forward and confused by what's occurring in your life and your body, these simple steps are free and available to you and they will bring you back to a place where you take control of your life. Your true inner guide is connected to that part of you that wishes the best for you and those around you and its tone is subtle, quiet, compassionate. As you listen, you will recognise it for its truth and you will find yourself beginning to make, or desiring to make subtle changes in your life which will be more aligned with how you want to feel and more in keeping with your desire for happiness.
You will say no more often, carefully, calm and without drama and you will ask for support more from those who love you so that you all find your way forward in these new uncharted waters of your life and in this way everyone benefits. Go on! Get your compass out and see where you are. You may not be nearly as lost as you thought.
......and if you'd like some guidance to help you access your inner wisdom. Contact me here to arrange a complimentary call.
NOW we look at how Traditional Chinese Medicine considers the time of menopause in a woman's life to be a second spring - the beginning of the second stage of her life.
This is such a positive way of accepting that there is much, much more to this midlife transformation than 'raging hormones.' During peri-menopause our bodies are recalibrating - even the way our brain functions is changing. At this time, a little like the changing seasons, you'll begin to find that what was pleasing and useful to you up until now, has become weighty and uncomfortable.
I had spent most of my life complaining about feeling cold. It took me some time to accept that the beautiful, soft cashmere sweaters I loved to wear, even in summertime, were no longer comfortable. Wearing one very quickly induced claustrophobia as I felt constricted by a creeping and overwhelming heat. Now I simply wear cardigans - so much easier to shrug off my shoulders and slip back on again when the chill returns.
Dr. Christiane Northrup says that she's worked with thousands of women who have gone through the process of this second spring and is adamant that menopause is an exciting developmental stage, one that she says "when participated in consciously, holds enormous promise for transforming and healing our bodies, minds and spirits at the deepest levels."
Is this a good time for a spring clean?
By the time we get to midlife, unless you're a very neat and ordered person who has a particular penchant for minimalism, you will find that you've accumulated a lot of 'stuff'. And very often, it's other people's stuff . Stuff inherited from the family home. Stuff your grandmother treasured and displayed in her china cabinet. Stuff your mother said a household should never be without. Stuff that made your dad proud of you. Stuff your work pals bought you when you were leaving a job. Stuff your kids won first prize for. Stuff that was useful fifteen years ago but hasn't been used once since then. Stuff that's stuffed into a drawer because you imagine you'll be looking for it one day.
It's time to shed the stuff!!
Do you imagine how it would feel if to open the doors of your wardrobe or slide out a drawer and the order within causes you to sigh with pleasure? It doesn't need to stop there. You can use this time in your life to claim a life in which you've untangled yourself from drama and claimed control of how you fill your day. Your second spring gifts you this chance to declutter, lighten-up, shed, purge, let go and lose all that you no longer choose to have in your life.
It strikes me that a fundamental shift in the process of transformation is the urge to shed something. Think butterfly shrugging off the chrysalis which has sustained its progress thus far. The actress Jane Fonda says that life - far from being a bridge shaped journey with a rise as we grow and take on the world, a plateau when we peak at midlife and then all downhill from there - is more a continuous ascent in which we grow in wisdom and evolve in spirit. As we move into a more spirit focused stage of life, we are aware of the discomfort of being held back by the baggage we've collected along the way.
By the time we get to midlife, unless you're a very neat and ordered person who has a particular penchant for minimalism, you will find that you've accumulated a lot of 'stuff'. And very often, it's other people's stuff . Stuff inherited from the family home. Stuff your grandmother treasured and displayed in her china cabinet. Stuff your mother said a household should never be without. Stuff that made your dad proud of you. Stuff your work pals bought you when you were leaving a job. Stuff your kids won first prize for. Stuff that was useful fifteen years ago but hasn't been used once since then. Stuff that's stuffed into a drawer because you imagine you'll be looking for it one day.
It's time to shed the stuff!!
Do you imagine how it would feel if to open the doors of your wardrobe or slide out a drawer and the order within causes you to sigh with pleasure? It doesn't need to stop there. You can use this time in your life to claim a life in which you've untangled yourself from drama and claimed control of how you fill your day. Your second spring gifts you this chance to declutter, lighten-up, shed, purge, let go and lose all that you no longer choose to have in your life.
It strikes me that a fundamental shift in the process of transformation is the urge to shed something. Think butterfly shrugging off the chrysalis which has sustained its progress thus far. The actress Jane Fonda says that life - far from being a bridge shaped journey with a rise as we grow and take on the world, a plateau when we peak at midlife and then all downhill from there - is more a continuous ascent in which we grow in wisdom and evolve in spirit. As we move into a more spirit focused stage of life, we are aware of the discomfort of being held back by the baggage we've collected along the way.
SOME OF THE THINGS YOU MIGHT WANT TO LET GO:
* Responsibilities we signed up to in the past but have outgrown - It's time to make time for all the things you promised yourself you'd do when you got the time.
* People with whom we no longer share the same interests - We have people in our lives for three things (a) a season (b) a reason and (c) for life. It might be time to let some go with love.
* A stuffed attic full of things you didn't remember you still possessed - Maybe get help with this and hire a company to help you sort out your clutter such as www.familyflow.ie. Decide to recycle, donate, sell or keep every single thing.
* A wardrobe full of clothes which no longer reflect your style and taste - You might even like to have a look at the predominant colour of your clothes. Have your allowed the simplicity and colour of work clothes blend into your everyday casual and dressy wardrobe. Perhaps it's time to spend Saturday afternoons window shopping for new things more in keeping with your evolving taste. I had a wardrobe of black t-shirts and jeans most of my adult life but as I grew older, I began to desire the addition of a vibrant pink. I love its energy which seems to suit my spirits these days.
* A make up bag full of bits and pieces which you've owned for so long you can't remember when you purchased them - Our skin tone and texture changes as we grow older and spending an hour consulting with a make-up artist in any department store is a brilliant investment in yourself. To quote Coco Chanel "You can be gorgeous at thirty, charming at forty and irresistible for the rest of your life." Of course it's how you feel about yourself that counts but often a make-up bag full of gorgeous products can help us feel good about the face we turn to the world.
* Cupboards full of school and teenage memorabilia you've been keeping for your kids to pass on to their kids - You know it's your attachment, not theirs and it's likely they really don't want their old stuff. So decide to keep a few items and pieces of school art, certificates and concert tickets. Put them in a scrap book and let the rest go with love. Letting go of your attachment to your kids things, helps you release yourself from daily responsibility towards them. This is a new phase in your life and this act helps you move on.
Ritual of letting go.
With anything that you attach guilt about letting go, decide to have a ritual to bless the items. For example, if you've kept all the cards your late mother sent you, take them out and keep one or two that are especially precious to you. Light a candle and make a cup of coffee or herbal tea. Journal in your new Wise & Ageless Goddess notebook about how much you treasured her good wishes all through the years. Write about how you appreciated all the thought she put into selecting just the right card and the words she used to express her love. Then in her memory, make a promise to carry on the tradition of selecting cards with care for people you love. Finish by offering up your thanks. Now let the cards go for recycling and place those you keep in your scrap book.
Letting go of the stuff you don't cherish but felt too guilty or even too shameful to let go of, can be very liberating. Clearing space literally clears your mind and makes room to invite new things into your life.
* Responsibilities we signed up to in the past but have outgrown - It's time to make time for all the things you promised yourself you'd do when you got the time.
* People with whom we no longer share the same interests - We have people in our lives for three things (a) a season (b) a reason and (c) for life. It might be time to let some go with love.
* A stuffed attic full of things you didn't remember you still possessed - Maybe get help with this and hire a company to help you sort out your clutter such as www.familyflow.ie. Decide to recycle, donate, sell or keep every single thing.
* A wardrobe full of clothes which no longer reflect your style and taste - You might even like to have a look at the predominant colour of your clothes. Have your allowed the simplicity and colour of work clothes blend into your everyday casual and dressy wardrobe. Perhaps it's time to spend Saturday afternoons window shopping for new things more in keeping with your evolving taste. I had a wardrobe of black t-shirts and jeans most of my adult life but as I grew older, I began to desire the addition of a vibrant pink. I love its energy which seems to suit my spirits these days.
* A make up bag full of bits and pieces which you've owned for so long you can't remember when you purchased them - Our skin tone and texture changes as we grow older and spending an hour consulting with a make-up artist in any department store is a brilliant investment in yourself. To quote Coco Chanel "You can be gorgeous at thirty, charming at forty and irresistible for the rest of your life." Of course it's how you feel about yourself that counts but often a make-up bag full of gorgeous products can help us feel good about the face we turn to the world.
* Cupboards full of school and teenage memorabilia you've been keeping for your kids to pass on to their kids - You know it's your attachment, not theirs and it's likely they really don't want their old stuff. So decide to keep a few items and pieces of school art, certificates and concert tickets. Put them in a scrap book and let the rest go with love. Letting go of your attachment to your kids things, helps you release yourself from daily responsibility towards them. This is a new phase in your life and this act helps you move on.
Ritual of letting go.
With anything that you attach guilt about letting go, decide to have a ritual to bless the items. For example, if you've kept all the cards your late mother sent you, take them out and keep one or two that are especially precious to you. Light a candle and make a cup of coffee or herbal tea. Journal in your new Wise & Ageless Goddess notebook about how much you treasured her good wishes all through the years. Write about how you appreciated all the thought she put into selecting just the right card and the words she used to express her love. Then in her memory, make a promise to carry on the tradition of selecting cards with care for people you love. Finish by offering up your thanks. Now let the cards go for recycling and place those you keep in your scrap book.
Letting go of the stuff you don't cherish but felt too guilty or even too shameful to let go of, can be very liberating. Clearing space literally clears your mind and makes room to invite new things into your life.
Time to forgive and let go?
There is an immense power in forgiveness.
Feelings of guilt, grief or resentment can be holding you back from living a joy-filled life. I once read that holding resentment is like drinking poison and expecting it to kill your enemy. As I mentioned earlier, this second spring, this time of shedding the baggage of past hurts and slights and let-downs, offers us an opportunity let it go.
It's good to know that forgiveness is not letting the other person off the hook. it is un-hooking yourself from your attachment to that injury and pain. The other person will have to deal with their own dharma or karma, guilt or shame at some point. But you can release yourself from the weight of that life experience and realise you're free to get on with your new life.
If this is something you are ready to do, a ritual of letting- go similar to the one above except this time write a letter to the person you are forgiving. State the incident or experience clearly and how you felt about it. Then make the statement that you now choose to release yourself from your attachment to it all and that you forgive them. Now take your letter outside and safely burn it. As the smoke rises ask that the Heavenly Father (angels/ source/ universe) takes it to be cleansed and transformed into love and light. You are free.
There is an immense power in forgiveness.
Feelings of guilt, grief or resentment can be holding you back from living a joy-filled life. I once read that holding resentment is like drinking poison and expecting it to kill your enemy. As I mentioned earlier, this second spring, this time of shedding the baggage of past hurts and slights and let-downs, offers us an opportunity let it go.
It's good to know that forgiveness is not letting the other person off the hook. it is un-hooking yourself from your attachment to that injury and pain. The other person will have to deal with their own dharma or karma, guilt or shame at some point. But you can release yourself from the weight of that life experience and realise you're free to get on with your new life.
If this is something you are ready to do, a ritual of letting- go similar to the one above except this time write a letter to the person you are forgiving. State the incident or experience clearly and how you felt about it. Then make the statement that you now choose to release yourself from your attachment to it all and that you forgive them. Now take your letter outside and safely burn it. As the smoke rises ask that the Heavenly Father (angels/ source/ universe) takes it to be cleansed and transformed into love and light. You are free.
ALIGNING WITH CHANGE
The symptoms of menopause most often complained about are of course hot flushes, irritability, low mood and sleeplessness. Women who work with me will go further and admit to feeling a loss of self esteem and confidence, as though they don't recognise themselves anymore.
The changes in your body are causing you to pay attention to almost every aspect of your life - in your body, how you feel and your lifestyle. And when changes occur in our body and in our circumstances, the best way to deal with them is to consider making changes to adapt and align with our new state.
We often let things leave us only with our claw marks on its back. It can be hard to let go of our youthful looks, our attentive and daily parenting, our career status, our vitality, our family, social or romantic relationships. But the bald fact is that everything changes. And no amount of denying it or holding back time, can stop that.
And yet, isn't it so very natural?
As I mentioned in earlier chronicles, the menopause give us a second chance to attend to issues of the past and the strands of our lives that we may have ignored to be addressed once and for all.
The old wounds and insults that cause us to behave in a certain way. In my case, a family member who probably meant no harm, declared that I always ruined photographs by pulling ugly faces. Oh my! That's still working its way out. We all have the school teacher who told us we were hopeless at something. Or maybe the lover who joked about our love handles. And of course the deeper hurts.
The inherited responsibilities that drain our energy and may mean that we'd rather eat grass from this day forward than cook another family meal.
MORE TO FOLLOW......
Please contact me if you'd like to talk about your experiences with Menopause. You can email me here and we can set up a complimentary 30 minute call.
