just say no, nay, never again! - day 18

In the process of letting go you will lose many things from the past but you will find yourself.
- Deepak Chopra

I have a jar that I keep at the centre of the room during  workshops and each of my participants have a block of sticky notes.  I call this jar the RELEASE jar and as we work our way through the process of the workshop program, from time to time a folded note of what will no longer be tolerated or done, is thoughtfully placed in the jar. 

It’s a powerful ritual at the end of a two day workshop as we place all the release notes into a metal container and burn them, releasing the vapours to the cosmos for cleansing and clearing.  There is a sense of being lighter, of having been freed and as it says on the jar, released.


Burning the letting go notes from the RELEASE jar at close of retreat or workshop.

My friend Trina told me a fabulous story which illustrates so well how we get caught up with carrying on old traditions and family stories without ever questioning their relevance to our lives.  

This is Trina’s Ham Pot story.
 
A woman was preparing to cook a ham.  She cut it in half and placed the tow halves in the oven to cook.  “Why do you cut the ham in half?"  asked her husband.  “Oh my mother always cut her ham in half before cooking it.” the woman replied.  Next time she saw her mother she asked her why she cut the ham in half before cooking.  “Well that’s the way my mother always cooked the ham” she replied.  Next time the woman saw her grandmother she asked her about the ham.  “Why did you always cut your ham in half before cooking?" asked the young woman.  Well my dear” the grandmother replied.  “My pot wasn’t large enough for the full length of the ham so I cut it in half and it fit nicely that way.”  

Are there things in your life you’re doing because it’s always been so?  Perhaps you have your own way just waiting to start its own tradition. Is it time to let go some of the inherited habits and stories of your family.

Today’s exercise is to write up your own Release or What I’m no longer available for List.

Here’s a list taken from the book The Art of Extreme Self Care by Cheryl Richardson.  Read down through the list and check in with how you feel as you come to each of Cheryl’s I Will No Longer sentences.

• Rush
• Live without pets
• Compromise my needs to keep the peace with anyone
• Argue with people who see debating as a sport
• Keep anything in my home that I don’t love or need
• Jump out of bed in the morning panicked.  I give myself the gift of time
• Eat when I’m not hungry
• Finish reading books that no longer hold my interest
• Hire a none - doctor, lawyer, accountant etc - who treats me with disrespect
• Get caught up in other people’s drama
• Feel bad about saying no when no is what’s best for me
• Keep clothes I hope to fit into some day

Begin your list today and keep a block of sticky notes and your own release jar handy.  At the end of every week or month, read your notes and then burn them safely.   You’ll get better and better at this and sometimes you’ll find that jar is quite full!

Looking forward to seeing a many of you as possible tomorrow evening at 7pm for our week 3 zoom check in.  Don’t worry if you haven’t been keeping up.  You can always schedule Magical Rest at any time of the coming days, weeks and months.  Just know that it’s always available to you.

Trina xx

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